- You really LOVE your lawn mower. You’d rather spend the time pushing it back and forth or riding around in circles in your yard than any other way you could spend your time.
- You’ve really embraced the ideas of the “RAID Generation” where you know that every minor inconvenience in your life can be eliminated by grabbing a can of some chemical and spraying your way to a completely happy and fulfilled life.
- You’re thrilled that all those chemicals that you add to your lawn keep it the perfect shade of green throughout the growing season. These chemicals run off into local streams and kill the organisms that can’t tolerate these chemicals, but that’s not your problem, right? It makes you really happy that not only are your local streams devoid of life, but these chemicals accumulate and do more damage on their way to larger bodies of water, like the Gulf of Mexico that has a dead zone larger than the state of New Jersey.
- You’re happy that we have national and state parks where you might see some wildlife while you’re destroying those habitats while riding your ATV. But wildlife has NO place in your perfect garden.
- You’re so excited about the new Walmart that’s being built right up the street, even though they had to destroy the breeding grounds for an endangered turtle to build it. There’s always more turtles, right?
This list is by no means complete, but I’m hoping you will play along and add to it in the comments below.
Yes, I’m being sarcastic and joking around with you a little bit. But it’s sometimes a good thing to look at some of our views through the lens of humor.